Crack Easter Eggs – Not Your Heads!

Demetrios Rhompotis

We…the Orthodox…contrary to our …unorthodox friends…celebrate Easter late this year, in fact a month after, so that we can buy our chocolate eggs and bunnies at half price! Being Orthodox pays, especially if you follow the Julian Calendar with Christmas, too, and you can get all your gifts cheaper and without the congestion and the headaches of pre-Christmas shopping. Economy is a Greek word after all, and although it has little to do with its original meaning, it works to our favor in this case.

Regular Americans have as their major family get-together occasion – that includes relatives whom they dislike or despise – the Thanksgiving Holiday. Premium Americans, aka Greek Americans, have Easter, too, which give us the opportunity to get even with the previous Thanksgiving infighting and losses and score new points! And what better way to do so, than cracking the red eggs! Years ago, when I was younger and more competitive – “Juventud divino tesoro”, as the poet says, albeit not in Greek – I bought from a little store in the Village a marble decorative red egg which looked exactly as the real ones. So, every Easter, I would bring it with me wherever I was invited and I would be the winner! I was notorious–at the end nobody wanted to crack with me–but I didn’t care, top has place for only one after all!

This year, for the guests that I don’t like, but I had to invite nevertheless, I  prepared a big surprise. I have painted two set of red eggs, regular ones and a bunch of unboiled eggs! I can’t wait for the time to crack them: it will be an unforgettable experience for those who hold them at least. I rejoice at just thinking of the mess, especially on women’s dresses and my wife’s fancy table cloth and seat upholstery!

And with these holiday-infused thoughts, I’m gonna say good bye here, wishing everyone Happy Easter and hoping that this Covid thing, now in its 2^nd year, will finally be over, because our nerves are in a direct collision course with our eggs–and believe me things can get messy!

Be happy, rejoice and once more thanks for your support this time as well. Covid might have gotten many of us, but not this magazine!