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Bullies Hate Themselves not just Others!
By Melina Giannakouli*
In our world we are dealing with so many problems and each day it seems like a new one is being added. However, an old issue that we haven’t always dealt properly with is bullying. Bullying by definition is when someone seeks to harm or intimidate another person and usually this other person is perceived as being vulnerable. We have had so many cases and lately and it seems that this problem is reaching its peak.
There are 4 types of bullying:
- Social Bullying
- Physical Bullying
- Verbal Bullying
- Cyber bullying
In my opinion the most common bullying is Social Bullying. Social bullying is when nasty comments are being made behind someone’s back, and many times the aim is to damage someone’s social reputation. We see this in our daily lives, not only in high school, between teenagers, but also adults in the workplace. It seems that negatively talking about someone behind their backs has become part of people’s daily routine. We have all done this, either because we don’t like the person, we don’t agree with something they are doing or wearing, or we might be gossiping to one of our friends and venting. It’s just part of our nature and we can’t help ourselves without making a comment about someone.
This is very damaging and hurtful, and it shouldn’t happen, but I am also being realistic, and I know that these comments that we will make about someone will continue. Wanting to comment about something is fine, but when you are aware of how this could damage and hurt someone and their reputation it’s better not to say anything, just like my mother taught me if you have nothing good to say, don’t say it at all. Many times, we have had problems with ourselves and dealt with certain issues, so when we negatively comment about someone else, we feel like it’s not only us that we are not perfect, that person isn’t either.
Humanity wants to reach as close as it can to being perfect, although we strive so much to becoming perfect that we don’t realize what actually matters. This phrase is so widely used and repeated, but I’ve come to the realization that it is so true. When people are happy with themselves and in general just happy, they don’t pay attention to others, they only focus on themselves and the people close to them. Don’t you remember a time where you just where happy, simply happy and you didn’t care about making comments about others or what others had to say about you because you were happy with yourself and who you are?
I do remember that time and it was last year at the beginning of my school year, I was so happy with how my life was going, I was pleased with myself, I didn’t worry about things that I couldn’t control and the things I could control, I made sure to make the best decisions possible that wouldn’t affect how I felt, I just was being the best version of me. Being the best version of yourself takes time and patience, you just need to wait because if you rush things they might easily fall apart. But trust me on this, being patient and making tiny steps everyday even if it might feel pointless at the time, it will get you where you need to be.
Everything starts with us; we can’t love someone else if we don’t love ourselves first. The more negative thoughts and criticism you have about yourself you will have double the amount for others. Living the life that you want will take time because nothing will ever come easy, for the things that matter you will have to work for. Instead of being in people’s lives and making it worse, why not enter someone’s life and make it better. What does hurting others even gain for us, what is our gain out of this? Let me tell you absolutely nothing, maybe comfort for a while but this discomfort with ourselves won’t stop by making comments and hating on others. The best thing to do is strive to be you and happy, be the best you that you can possibly be, that’s what will get you the life you want, not hating on others.
Tomorrow wake up as early as you can, an hour earlier than you usually do. Study and get those grades that you so really deeply want, you know how happy that will make you. Do the assignment you have for next week, start it now.
Tomorrow get up and go say “I love you” to your parents. Get up, go grocery shopping and try to swap unhealthy foods for healthier options, instead of white bread get black bread. There is no excuse of having no time, it’s what we prioritize that matters.
Now there is no way that I am going to tell you how to live your life, but I know that just like me and just like everyone, you imagine of how your best scenario of your life outcome would be, so why not make it a reality.
About all these negative comments we always say we try to get into other people’s shoes but in reality, do we? Would you want the nasty comments and the hate you give to someone to be given to the person you love the most? It’s in our hands literally to make a change.
You can’t change from one day to another your bad habits either if it is nasty comments, eating unhealthily or anything, you start slow and steady. Just don’t forget that we should always reward ourselves even for the tiniest victory.
Melina Giannakouli, a victim of bullying, is a student of IB2 at Pierce, The American College of Greece.